The wedding planning has begun.
(Kind of)
I’m still in the very beginning stages but pricing out reception venues and food has me warming up to the idea of a couple of those 6-foot subs from Subway in the local park. That or perhaps I could save money by not eating for the next year or so. That would solve wedding budget and wedding diet concerns in one go. Two birds, one stone.
Will and I are looking at tying the knot in the Fall of 2012. As the money starts flowing, I want to make sure that my priorities are clear (to myself, at least). To the extent possible, I want to spend my money on “Memories,” not “Things”. Simply put, when faced with choices, Memories get priority. For example:
The venue is a Memory, the dress is a Thing.
Food is a Memory, flowers are Things.
This is all within reason, of course. I’m hardly a monk. I want a pretty dress. I want flowers. I just want to (try to?) keep things in perspective.
The Memories vs. Things test isn’t rigid, either, as looking for bridal gowns with my mom and sister is going to be a Memory I’m sure I will cherish. I’m also aware that different people have different priorities. While Will and I love food and would remember a nice meal over a nice centerpiece, I realize that I don’t speak for all Brides.
Clearly, I’m just someone who likes to have her priorities in writing. It helps me make decisions (as decision-making in general was never my strength). While I’m aware that the wedding industry tends to distort or inflate prices, I feel the cost of items should fall in line with their relative importance to my Big Day.
(Yes, feel free to laugh at my naiveté, Former Brides.)
Lindsay says
I think the food was one of our best memories still. It was the most fun planning the food, tasting, our caterer was a hoot and I adored him and could almost call him a friend….kinda miss him now…
And still to this day people make comments about how awesome our food was. Mainly the Mac-n-Cheese and mashed potato bar 🙂 But we’re quirky like that.
Just make it about you guys and throw both your awesome personalities in it! HAVE FUN!!!
Helena says
I love that you had Mac-n-Cheese at your wedding! That sounds perfect. I still talk about the food at this one wedding I went to where it was fried chicken served Family Style.
Lindsay says
I think the food was one of our best memories still. It was the most fun planning the food, tasting, our caterer was a hoot and I adored him and could almost call him a friend….kinda miss him now…
And still to this day people make comments about how awesome our food was. Mainly the Mac-n-Cheese and mashed potato bar 🙂 But we’re quirky like that.
Just make it about you guys and throw both your awesome personalities in it! HAVE FUN!!!
Helena says
I love that you had Mac-n-Cheese at your wedding! That sounds perfect. I still talk about the food at this one wedding I went to where it was fried chicken served Family Style.
renita says
Everyone has an opinion about weddings. It’s the same thing with buying a house, or having a kid — people seem to think it’s public domain to impose their opinions on you.
So I’d be happy to ramble on about what we did for our wedding, but I don’t want to make you feel like there’s a Right Way and a Wrong Way. You do what makes you happy. You prioritize what’s important to you, Will, and anyone else helping to pay for it 😛
I will say that for me, flowers were probably the least important thing. I wanted some decoration, certainly, but we used silk from a couple of craft stores, made our own bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages and pew decorations and it all turned out beautifully. Florists are freaking expensive. It does help to have crafty friends, but then, you seem to be pretty crafty 🙂
Helena says
I haven’t even priced flowers yet. Yikes. My cousin did silk flowers and it was cool that I could take my bouquet home with me later (I was a bridesmaid). It’s now sitting in a vase perking up my bathroom.
renita says
Everyone has an opinion about weddings. It’s the same thing with buying a house, or having a kid — people seem to think it’s public domain to impose their opinions on you.
So I’d be happy to ramble on about what we did for our wedding, but I don’t want to make you feel like there’s a Right Way and a Wrong Way. You do what makes you happy. You prioritize what’s important to you, Will, and anyone else helping to pay for it 😛
I will say that for me, flowers were probably the least important thing. I wanted some decoration, certainly, but we used silk from a couple of craft stores, made our own bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages and pew decorations and it all turned out beautifully. Florists are freaking expensive. It does help to have crafty friends, but then, you seem to be pretty crafty 🙂
Helena says
I haven’t even priced flowers yet. Yikes. My cousin did silk flowers and it was cool that I could take my bouquet home with me later (I was a bridesmaid). It’s now sitting in a vase perking up my bathroom.
Fabulously Awkward says
That’s a great way to decide how to allocate your budget. I am with you…centerpieces were the lease of my concern. That’s how I ended up with $2 vases full of limes (which we used several days later to make massive pitchers of delicious margaritas.)
I meant it when I said that I will offer any and all advice or tips to you. Despite it costing more than we wanted, we loved everything about our special day and wouldn’t have changed a thing. 🙂
Helena says
Ha! I was totally thinking of vases of apples as we are going to have a Fall wedding. Apples come in all colors (kinda) and could be made into tarts or something…
Fabulously Awkward says
That’s a great way to decide how to allocate your budget. I am with you…centerpieces were the lease of my concern. That’s how I ended up with $2 vases full of limes (which we used several days later to make massive pitchers of delicious margaritas.)
I meant it when I said that I will offer any and all advice or tips to you. Despite it costing more than we wanted, we loved everything about our special day and wouldn’t have changed a thing. 🙂
Helena says
Ha! I was totally thinking of vases of apples as we are going to have a Fall wedding. Apples come in all colors (kinda) and could be made into tarts or something…
Erin says
A few comments, since I’m also in the throes of planning (approving my Save the Date proofs today, and buying a dress this weekend!).
I’m doing the same thing, in a way, as Kyle and I are planning. I made a list of things that I’m allowing myself to be a little crazy about (the way I look in my dress, what kind of beer is served at the reception, and these funky ties I found on etsy for my dudes). I know they are little things, but I’m dead set on making them happen.
I was definitely budget conscious when we booked our venue, and I’m going to try to make reasonable choices about food (but we have to use the venue’s chef…who makes delicious food, the tasting was so much fun!).
I have decided, though, I’m not going to skimp on the wedding photos. I feel like if we’re going through all the time and effort (and cash!) of making this big, beautiful, kickass party…I want to have those tangible reminders of it. I think photos might be where Memory and Thing kind of merge 🙂
So I definitely agree making a list of things that are important and aren’t important is very helpful. Like Renita, flowers/decorations are not so important to me…the room we picked is gorgeous, and I think doing too much decoration is going to detract from the awesome decor that’s already present.
Ramble ramble ramble! Have fun planning and keep us updated!
Helena says
Will and I are going to be pretty particular about the beer at the reception, too. That’s been an annoying point as MOST of the alcohol packages that come with caterers feature Bud and Bud Light EVEN IF YOU UPGRADE. We are looking at places that let you bring in your own. We are craft beer people – a wedding with macrobrews would not be “us”.
… and have fun with the dress!! eeeeeee!
Erin says
Yeah, we got lucky with the beer situation. Kyle and I are also big craft beer enthusiasts, and when I was talking to the lady at our venue about the abysmal beer situation, she said that I could take a look at their distribution lists and order things in especially for the event!
So that might be something to consider asking, when you’re talking to the venue. Places that host parties and events have good relationships with booze distributors, they just choose not to stock the smaller, pricier stuff.
Good luck!
Erin says
A few comments, since I’m also in the throes of planning (approving my Save the Date proofs today, and buying a dress this weekend!).
I’m doing the same thing, in a way, as Kyle and I are planning. I made a list of things that I’m allowing myself to be a little crazy about (the way I look in my dress, what kind of beer is served at the reception, and these funky ties I found on etsy for my dudes). I know they are little things, but I’m dead set on making them happen.
I was definitely budget conscious when we booked our venue, and I’m going to try to make reasonable choices about food (but we have to use the venue’s chef…who makes delicious food, the tasting was so much fun!).
I have decided, though, I’m not going to skimp on the wedding photos. I feel like if we’re going through all the time and effort (and cash!) of making this big, beautiful, kickass party…I want to have those tangible reminders of it. I think photos might be where Memory and Thing kind of merge 🙂
So I definitely agree making a list of things that are important and aren’t important is very helpful. Like Renita, flowers/decorations are not so important to me…the room we picked is gorgeous, and I think doing too much decoration is going to detract from the awesome decor that’s already present.
Ramble ramble ramble! Have fun planning and keep us updated!
Helena says
Will and I are going to be pretty particular about the beer at the reception, too. That’s been an annoying point as MOST of the alcohol packages that come with caterers feature Bud and Bud Light EVEN IF YOU UPGRADE. We are looking at places that let you bring in your own. We are craft beer people – a wedding with macrobrews would not be “us”.
… and have fun with the dress!! eeeeeee!
Erin says
Yeah, we got lucky with the beer situation. Kyle and I are also big craft beer enthusiasts, and when I was talking to the lady at our venue about the abysmal beer situation, she said that I could take a look at their distribution lists and order things in especially for the event!
So that might be something to consider asking, when you’re talking to the venue. Places that host parties and events have good relationships with booze distributors, they just choose not to stock the smaller, pricier stuff.
Good luck!
renita says
One more tiny piece of advice — unless it’s something truly useful, cool and unique, I would stay away from favors. Most people just toss theirs. We did little bags of personalized M&Ms and I think most people ate theirs right away which was cool, but there wasn’t any like, bookmark or goofy bell or anything. Nothing against bookmarks or bells. But. You know.
Erin, you guys found a great setting, I agree that it doesn’t need much dressing up 🙂
/going away now
Helena says
Haha, I love the comments (no need to go away!). I’m with you though – no favors you can’t immediately eat.
renita says
One more tiny piece of advice — unless it’s something truly useful, cool and unique, I would stay away from favors. Most people just toss theirs. We did little bags of personalized M&Ms and I think most people ate theirs right away which was cool, but there wasn’t any like, bookmark or goofy bell or anything. Nothing against bookmarks or bells. But. You know.
Erin, you guys found a great setting, I agree that it doesn’t need much dressing up 🙂
/going away now
Helena says
Haha, I love the comments (no need to go away!). I’m with you though – no favors you can’t immediately eat.
Jessica says
I’d say you are right on! That’s exactly why I called my post on wedding planning It’s About the Experience–because we made our decisions based on the experience we wanted to have and we wanted our guests to have, not based on tradition or what other people thought we should do. Our florist kept pushing and pushing us to have centerpieces, but we held our ground because we felt that they served no purpose and just made it difficult for people to talk to each other (detrimental to the experience). Having your priorities straight ahead of time is a fabulous idea!
Helena says
Great post, Jessica – it’s nice to see some sanity amid the wedding planning craziness!
Jessica says
I’d say you are right on! That’s exactly why I called my post on wedding planning It’s About the Experience–because we made our decisions based on the experience we wanted to have and we wanted our guests to have, not based on tradition or what other people thought we should do. Our florist kept pushing and pushing us to have centerpieces, but we held our ground because we felt that they served no purpose and just made it difficult for people to talk to each other (detrimental to the experience). Having your priorities straight ahead of time is a fabulous idea!
Helena says
Great post, Jessica – it’s nice to see some sanity amid the wedding planning craziness!
Vanessa says
I’m right there with you! I almost had a heart attack when I started pricing everything out for our wedding. There will definitely be material things that I compromise on for the sake of spending more energy on making memories.
Helena says
Memories are all you take with you anyway!
Vanessa says
I’m right there with you! I almost had a heart attack when I started pricing everything out for our wedding. There will definitely be material things that I compromise on for the sake of spending more energy on making memories.
Helena says
Memories are all you take with you anyway!
Jess says
Having just gone through this process myself – I totally agree that it’s way more important to spend money on things that you will truly cherish about the wedding! Greg and I had decided that we really wanted to make sure that we got an awesome photographer / wedding album, so that was one of the areas that we spent more money on. Having a crazy DJ with lights and dancers was most definitely not a priority…. (the DJ we went with was GREAT!!! – and was more than worth the cheaper price!!!)
I also found my amazing dress at Davids Bridal… once again for an awesome price! I can’t even imagine these girls that spend thousands of dollars on a dress that they’re going to wear for a few hours…
Congrats again!
Helena says
Ha, I’ve been looking at wedding photographers since WELL before I met Will. This event will be well-documented, if nothing else.
I’m with you on the thousands-of-dollars-on-one-dress thing, too. I’d rather spend that money on a honeymoon.
renita says
I think if there was one thing I might go back and change, I would hire our photographer for the entire day. As it was, to save money I had her come in just for the preparations, ceremony and post-wedding portraits, and she did a great job. My uncle is a semi-pro photographer so we had some good reception pictures too, but it wasn’t quite the same.
Still, minor. I’d be happy to recommend her, she lives out in Geneva and mostly does portrait work but has shot a fair amount of weddings.
Jess says
Having just gone through this process myself – I totally agree that it’s way more important to spend money on things that you will truly cherish about the wedding! Greg and I had decided that we really wanted to make sure that we got an awesome photographer / wedding album, so that was one of the areas that we spent more money on. Having a crazy DJ with lights and dancers was most definitely not a priority…. (the DJ we went with was GREAT!!! – and was more than worth the cheaper price!!!)
I also found my amazing dress at Davids Bridal… once again for an awesome price! I can’t even imagine these girls that spend thousands of dollars on a dress that they’re going to wear for a few hours…
Congrats again!
Helena says
Ha, I’ve been looking at wedding photographers since WELL before I met Will. This event will be well-documented, if nothing else.
I’m with you on the thousands-of-dollars-on-one-dress thing, too. I’d rather spend that money on a honeymoon.
renita says
I think if there was one thing I might go back and change, I would hire our photographer for the entire day. As it was, to save money I had her come in just for the preparations, ceremony and post-wedding portraits, and she did a great job. My uncle is a semi-pro photographer so we had some good reception pictures too, but it wasn’t quite the same.
Still, minor. I’d be happy to recommend her, she lives out in Geneva and mostly does portrait work but has shot a fair amount of weddings.
SEMinegar says
I did wildflowers and got enough for 12 tables for $100. We bought antique vases at thrift stores (non-matching) and arrange random bunches of flowers the day of. Mine and my attendant’s bouquets of wild flowers and geberas, groom and groomsman single gebera , and pastors all $100. $200 total….we went with the grocery store florist and had great low-cost results. My bouquet dried beautifully.
So excited for you!
Helena says
Did you grow them yourself? I remember having a wildflower garden when I was young (and, granted, we lived in Texas where wildflowers seemed more common).
SEMinegar says
I did wildflowers and got enough for 12 tables for $100. We bought antique vases at thrift stores (non-matching) and arrange random bunches of flowers the day of. Mine and my attendant’s bouquets of wild flowers and geberas, groom and groomsman single gebera , and pastors all $100. $200 total….we went with the grocery store florist and had great low-cost results. My bouquet dried beautifully.
So excited for you!
Helena says
Did you grow them yourself? I remember having a wildflower garden when I was young (and, granted, we lived in Texas where wildflowers seemed more common).
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