There are various aspects of the “standard” wedding that I’d like to edit out. One is the bouquet toss.
{via Inspired by This}
First, I never really liked bouquet tosses as a wedding guest. There was a whole lot of single in my life before I met Will, so I always groaned when BeyoncΓ©’s “Single Ladies” started to boom from the speakers and all the man-less misfits were herded to the dance floor. A touch dramatic? Probably. But that’s how it felt.
“Hi, I am single, POINT AND STARE!”
Past a certain age, it started to lose appeal. Yep, still not married! I would stand there and passive-aggressively make no attempt whatsoever to catch the flung flowers.
{ via Style Me Pretty, photograph by Laura Leslie Photography}
As a bride paying for the flowers, I can assure you I won’t be tossing them at a group of underwhelmed, unattached attendees. It will likely grace the sweetheart table during dinner and rest there unmolested throughout the evening.
I know I’m not the first to choose to cut out this ritual. I’ve read of several alternative treatments for your bouquet.
- Present it to the couple who has been married the longest (unless, knowing ahead of time who this will be, you are concerned that they wouldn’t enjoy being singled out as being likely the oldest guests in attendance).
- Give it to my mother.
- Give it to Will’s mother.
Erin says
Heh, I’m not doing that either…one, because there won’t be that many single girls at my wedding, and two, because I’m doing a brooch bouquet, and giving one of my single girlfriends a concussion is not the way to start a fun reception π
The brooch bouquet is a really fun project; Kyle and I are scouring ebay and sidewalk sellers for funky pieces that we like, and then we’re going to assemble it together. Post-wedding, I’m sure it will hang out in a vase on our dresser in the bedroom.
Helena says
OOOH! I’ve seen some amazing brooch bouquets on the interwebs! I want to see pictures of your finished product! That is a cool keepsake, lady. If you have a little girl who’s anything like me (no pressure to have kids…) she will LOVE playing dress up with it!
Erin says
Heh, I’m not doing that either…one, because there won’t be that many single girls at my wedding, and two, because I’m doing a brooch bouquet, and giving one of my single girlfriends a concussion is not the way to start a fun reception π
The brooch bouquet is a really fun project; Kyle and I are scouring ebay and sidewalk sellers for funky pieces that we like, and then we’re going to assemble it together. Post-wedding, I’m sure it will hang out in a vase on our dresser in the bedroom.
Helena says
OOOH! I’ve seen some amazing brooch bouquets on the interwebs! I want to see pictures of your finished product! That is a cool keepsake, lady. If you have a little girl who’s anything like me (no pressure to have kids…) she will LOVE playing dress up with it!
Debbie says
I think that’s a great idea! Your description was not too dramatic. That’s how a lot of us feel! I never try to catch the bouquet. It’s an archaic tradition that doesn’t speak to our generation’s desire to wait to marry and oftentimes live happy and full lives before we walk down the aisle.
Helena says
Well said. It was fun when I was little. My sister caught my aunt’s bouquet when she was 5 and thought she was the bees knees for years. I think she still brings it up…
Debbie says
I think that’s a great idea! Your description was not too dramatic. That’s how a lot of us feel! I never try to catch the bouquet. It’s an archaic tradition that doesn’t speak to our generation’s desire to wait to marry and oftentimes live happy and full lives before we walk down the aisle.
Helena says
Well said. It was fun when I was little. My sister caught my aunt’s bouquet when she was 5 and thought she was the bees knees for years. I think she still brings it up…
renita says
I think I mentioned this in my post’s comments, but there were approximately four single women at my reception, out of maybe 80 people, and I did not want them to feel all awkward, singled out and embarrassed.
I also wanted to keep my bouquet, frankly; I put it together myself with silk flowers and felt a little selfish about it π
We also (naturally) skipped the garter toss; there were even fewer single guys, and does anyone REALLY need to see my new husband rooting around under my dress?
Helena says
Nothing makes me feel more prudish than the thought of a garter toss. Will will not be rooting under my dress and tossing his findings to a crowd of single men. I can’t wrap my head around that one.
renita says
I think I mentioned this in my post’s comments, but there were approximately four single women at my reception, out of maybe 80 people, and I did not want them to feel all awkward, singled out and embarrassed.
I also wanted to keep my bouquet, frankly; I put it together myself with silk flowers and felt a little selfish about it π
We also (naturally) skipped the garter toss; there were even fewer single guys, and does anyone REALLY need to see my new husband rooting around under my dress?
Helena says
Nothing makes me feel more prudish than the thought of a garter toss. Will will not be rooting under my dress and tossing his findings to a crowd of single men. I can’t wrap my head around that one.
Carrie S. says
We tossed the bouquet and garter at our wedding. The garter was caught by a friend who proposed to his girlfriend two weeks later. She wanted the bouquet as well. We had small bouquets made for the moms instead of corsages. My flowers stayed at my parents’ house since we had to run back to Chicago to put down our good faith money due on the Thursday before the wedding.
Helena says
That’s a cute idea for flowers for the mothers!
Carrie S. says
We tossed the bouquet and garter at our wedding. The garter was caught by a friend who proposed to his girlfriend two weeks later. She wanted the bouquet as well. We had small bouquets made for the moms instead of corsages. My flowers stayed at my parents’ house since we had to run back to Chicago to put down our good faith money due on the Thursday before the wedding.
Helena says
That’s a cute idea for flowers for the mothers!
Erin says
You know, now that I think about it, my sister-in-law did a bouquet toss at her wedding, and she used a different bouquet for it. Because she definitely dried hers and did something with it.
My little sister caught that one…I think I was hiding outside with my date.
Helena says
I’ve heard of girls getting “tossing bouquets” that are smaller or more simple than the one they carry down the aisle.
Erin says
You know, now that I think about it, my sister-in-law did a bouquet toss at her wedding, and she used a different bouquet for it. Because she definitely dried hers and did something with it.
My little sister caught that one…I think I was hiding outside with my date.
Helena says
I’ve heard of girls getting “tossing bouquets” that are smaller or more simple than the one they carry down the aisle.
Ally Bean says
No bouquet toss here. My mother took it home with her and enjoyed it.
Love the idea of giving it to the couple who has been married the longest. Seems like good karma to do that.
Helena says
Agreed. I’d love to be that couple eventually.
Paige Worthy says
*gag*
Helena says
Oh, that’s only mild fiance-love-cheese from me!
Ally Bean says
No bouquet toss here. My mother took it home with her and enjoyed it.
Love the idea of giving it to the couple who has been married the longest. Seems like good karma to do that.
Helena says
Agreed. I’d love to be that couple eventually.
Paige Worthy says
*gag*
Helena says
Oh, that’s only mild fiance-love-cheese from me!
Paige Worthy says
This spinster is all about the bouquet toss, but I like the sentiment you have behind scrapping it.
Paige Worthy says
This spinster is all about the bouquet toss, but I like the sentiment you have behind scrapping it.
Allison Gans Castillo says
Nicely done! Jason and I skipped the bouquet toss, and we didn’t miss it one bit.
I was considerably more absent-minded though, and left my bridal bouquet in the hotel room the day after. Whoops! So some nice person from the hotel cleaning service got to enjoy it.
Helena says
Ha, that’s right. I didn’t even notice that you skipped it!
Allison Gans Castillo says
Nicely done! Jason and I skipped the bouquet toss, and we didn’t miss it one bit.
I was considerably more absent-minded though, and left my bridal bouquet in the hotel room the day after. Whoops! So some nice person from the hotel cleaning service got to enjoy it.
Helena says
Ha, that’s right. I didn’t even notice that you skipped it!
Christine says
Loving your site! Found it because of a #FF tweet – we’re both going to ALT! YAY!
Tiny request as a wedding photographer — I know you found the flower photo via Style Me Pretty, but it is still super nice if you use it & like it to link to the photographer’s site as well. That way they can get the credit they deserve. π Just thought I’d share!
Having been to a lot of weddings, I love it when the bride gives a “throw” bouquet to someone special – her mom, grandmother, the bridesmaid that really, really wanted to catch it! Nothing is worse than that awkward moment when all the single ladies are called to the dance floor and they obviously do NOT want to be there!
Helena says
Good point on the photographer – I will add that.
I’m so excited about Alt! The conference yesterday was pretty awesome.
Christine says
Loving your site! Found it because of a #FF tweet – we’re both going to ALT! YAY!
Tiny request as a wedding photographer — I know you found the flower photo via Style Me Pretty, but it is still super nice if you use it & like it to link to the photographer’s site as well. That way they can get the credit they deserve. π Just thought I’d share!
Having been to a lot of weddings, I love it when the bride gives a “throw” bouquet to someone special – her mom, grandmother, the bridesmaid that really, really wanted to catch it! Nothing is worse than that awkward moment when all the single ladies are called to the dance floor and they obviously do NOT want to be there!
Helena says
Good point on the photographer – I will add that.
I’m so excited about Alt! The conference yesterday was pretty awesome.
Belle says
I think it’s a lovely idea to present the bouquet to the couple married the longest. That’s what I wanted to do at my wedding, but, well let me give you a little advice: If this is the plan, do it at the beginning of the reception instead of towards the end as is traditional for the bouquet toss. By the time I was ready to give away my bouquet, all the old folks had long since wished us well and said goodnight.
Helena says
Good tip!
Belle says
I think it’s a lovely idea to present the bouquet to the couple married the longest. That’s what I wanted to do at my wedding, but, well let me give you a little advice: If this is the plan, do it at the beginning of the reception instead of towards the end as is traditional for the bouquet toss. By the time I was ready to give away my bouquet, all the old folks had long since wished us well and said goodnight.
Helena says
Good tip!
kathleen says
i hate wedding traditions that just seem to stick around for…no good reason. the bouquet toss is one of them, and it’s WORSE partner, the garter toss. i’m sorry, but i do not want to see mr. groom with his head up mrs. bride’s skirt. i know you love each other, but i don’t care to see it!
i love the idea of presenting it to the oldest couple married…or, just keep it, hang it upside down and dry it, and enjoy it for a year or so in a vase in the guest room π
kathleen says
i hate wedding traditions that just seem to stick around for…no good reason. the bouquet toss is one of them, and it’s WORSE partner, the garter toss. i’m sorry, but i do not want to see mr. groom with his head up mrs. bride’s skirt. i know you love each other, but i don’t care to see it!
i love the idea of presenting it to the oldest couple married…or, just keep it, hang it upside down and dry it, and enjoy it for a year or so in a vase in the guest room π
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