Mid-summer, after some discussion of our future, Will and I went to try on engagement rings. We decided early on that I would have a say in the design of the ring. After all, I’d be the one wearing it every day for the rest of my life, right?
We were incredibly lucky that my friend Sarah works at Steve Quick Jewelers. She and I wandered the store and discussed my ideas. I was very interested in non-diamond center stones and became enamored with a ring featuring a deep blue topaz. Taking a cue from the setting, Sarah set out to look for sapphires for me, and we made a follow-up appointment for a week out.
[Note to other ladies considering gemstones rather than diamonds. Sapphires are your friends. They come in a range of colors and have a Mohs hardness rating of 9. This means you are less likely to ding it up if you – like me – manage to constantly bang your hands into things. Diamonds have a rating of 10, but 9 is pretty darn good.]
At our next appointment, I looked through the stones Sarah had selected. While they were gorgeous, I worried that they were almost too colorful. I wanted the ring I’d be wearing every day to be more neutral. Sarah then showed me a yellow diamond, and I fell in love. This would be the center stone.
Sarah and I then designed a ring based on this stone and the millwork and setting from the original topaz ring. The jeweler was on vacation for the next two weeks (of course!) but as soon as he was back Will and I would get a digital rendering of the ring. I was utterly beyond excited.
But then, because I’m me, doubt started to set in.
I polled some married friends and started to question my approach. Was I too involved in the process? Did that take some of the magic out of it? Did wanting a ring of my own design make me materialistic? Was I doing this the “right way”?
At that point, of course, I was too involved to suddenly back out. Besides, it’s not magic, it’s a marriage. As I’ve told Will many times already, if, at the end of this process, I end up his wife, we succeeded. That’s really the only measure.
The other, more obvious “issue” with having a hand in the design of your ring is that you are aware that it is out there, somewhere, destined for your finger but you can’t really talk about it yet as you aren’t technically engaged yet. I know that you don’t need a ring to be engaged, but, despite all our discussions about (and clear moves towards) getting married, Will hadn’t actually, truly, gotten-down-on-one-knee and asked me yet. Try taking the most exciting news of your life and zipping your lip about it for a couple months. It’s hard.
OK, I leaked it. I told my sister. I told some friends. I starting mad pinnings of wedding-related items to my Pinterest boards, so other observant friends started inquiring. Good news is hard to keep to yourself!
The rest of this story has already been told. On August 25, a week after picking up the ring, Will asked me to marry him. The ring, and the man who gave it to me, are straight out of a dream.
Okay, okay. Here are the pictures:
renita says
Beautiful! It’s awesome that Sarah could help you, I’ve heard such good things about her. And while it’s just a symbol, if you’re going to wear it every day, you want it to “fit”. 🙂
Matthew wanted to be fairly traditional and so, while I’d given him my ring size and we’d looked at a few stores together, he picked my ring out entirely on his own (ok, with a little input from his mom). And considering he was on a grad school budget, he did awesome. (Plus I’m not a big-jewelery sorta gal anyway.) Here’s a link if you want: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/mousewithattitude/closeup.jpg
Unfortunately my beautiful rings are giving me a rash… but that’s a whole different saga 🙂
Helena says
Oh no, are you allergic to metal? I know some other people who are (and I actually can’t wear earrings because I had issues with too many metals). Anyway, have you tried the coat-it-with-clear-nailpolish trick? I may be nervous about doing that to nicer jewelry, but… either way your ring is lovely! Matthew did well!
renita says
I may be, but I’ve never had a reaction to gold or silver before. (Nickel irritates my ears.) My wedding band is a bit tight, but not so that I can’t take it off or anything… I haven’t tried clear nail polish yet, I’m just not wearing my rings every day which makes me a little sad 🙁 I should try it, worst case scenario it wears off/I use some polish remover on it, right?
Anyway, I’m rambling, thanks 🙂
Helena says
I bet Google knows if nail polish would damage the ring… I just know I’d be sad if I didn’t get to wear mine!
Jessica @ Faith Permeating Life says
I got a rash on my ring finger about a week before we got married, and didn’t get to a doctor until right before we left for our honeymoon. I had a heck of a time convincing her that the rash had nothing to do with my rings. “No, I’ve worn this one for a year and a half with no problems, and the rash started before I started wearing this one.” Anyway, she finally gave me two different creams to try on it, it cleared up in a week, and I haven’t had problems in the two years since.
Moral of the story… Yours may actually be from your rings, but it could always be a coincidence 🙂
Sarah B. says
Renita-
That rash is a very very common thing; I see it every couple of months in a client or two. If it looks like little red, itchy, swollen bumps underneath your ring, I know exactly what is causing it and how to fix it!
This is gross, but it is coming from bacteria trapped in your ring. You can wash your hands like crazy and clean your ring regularly but that bacteria can still be trapped up in the prongs of your ring and cause the rash. I’m sure you keep it clean but even the cleanest ring owners still have this issue.
The only solution is a very high heat cleaning. You can take it to a jeweler and ask them to leave it in their ultra sonic cleaner for a few hours and then steam clean. Or, if your ring is only made of gold/platinum and diamonds (NO other stones) you can bring some water to a boil and then drop your ring in after the bubbling has gone down. Leave it in there for about 10 minutes and then scrub with rubbing alcohol for good measure.
The next part is crucial–you cannot wear the ring, or any other ring until your rash heals. Even if the ring is cleared of the bacteria the rubbing of the rings will continue the rash.
Anyway, hope that helps.
renita says
Sarah — it did look like that but I’ve been keeping it under control with hydrocortisone. It was nearly gone a few times but then of course I went and wore my rings again… And I did clean it a few times at home, but not with boiling water.
My ring is white gold and diamonds, no other stones — so I will try the boiling water before I seek out a jeweler (since we don’t live either jeweler my rings are from). Thanks for the idea! 🙂
renita says
Beautiful! It’s awesome that Sarah could help you, I’ve heard such good things about her. And while it’s just a symbol, if you’re going to wear it every day, you want it to “fit”. 🙂
Matthew wanted to be fairly traditional and so, while I’d given him my ring size and we’d looked at a few stores together, he picked my ring out entirely on his own (ok, with a little input from his mom). And considering he was on a grad school budget, he did awesome. (Plus I’m not a big-jewelery sorta gal anyway.) Here’s a link if you want: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/mousewithattitude/closeup.jpg
Unfortunately my beautiful rings are giving me a rash… but that’s a whole different saga 🙂
Helena says
Oh no, are you allergic to metal? I know some other people who are (and I actually can’t wear earrings because I had issues with too many metals). Anyway, have you tried the coat-it-with-clear-nailpolish trick? I may be nervous about doing that to nicer jewelry, but… either way your ring is lovely! Matthew did well!
renita says
I may be, but I’ve never had a reaction to gold or silver before. (Nickel irritates my ears.) My wedding band is a bit tight, but not so that I can’t take it off or anything… I haven’t tried clear nail polish yet, I’m just not wearing my rings every day which makes me a little sad 🙁 I should try it, worst case scenario it wears off/I use some polish remover on it, right?
Anyway, I’m rambling, thanks 🙂
Helena says
I bet Google knows if nail polish would damage the ring… I just know I’d be sad if I didn’t get to wear mine!
Jessica @ Faith Permeating Life says
I got a rash on my ring finger about a week before we got married, and didn’t get to a doctor until right before we left for our honeymoon. I had a heck of a time convincing her that the rash had nothing to do with my rings. “No, I’ve worn this one for a year and a half with no problems, and the rash started before I started wearing this one.” Anyway, she finally gave me two different creams to try on it, it cleared up in a week, and I haven’t had problems in the two years since.
Moral of the story… Yours may actually be from your rings, but it could always be a coincidence 🙂
Sarah B. says
Renita-
That rash is a very very common thing; I see it every couple of months in a client or two. If it looks like little red, itchy, swollen bumps underneath your ring, I know exactly what is causing it and how to fix it!
This is gross, but it is coming from bacteria trapped in your ring. You can wash your hands like crazy and clean your ring regularly but that bacteria can still be trapped up in the prongs of your ring and cause the rash. I’m sure you keep it clean but even the cleanest ring owners still have this issue.
The only solution is a very high heat cleaning. You can take it to a jeweler and ask them to leave it in their ultra sonic cleaner for a few hours and then steam clean. Or, if your ring is only made of gold/platinum and diamonds (NO other stones) you can bring some water to a boil and then drop your ring in after the bubbling has gone down. Leave it in there for about 10 minutes and then scrub with rubbing alcohol for good measure.
The next part is crucial–you cannot wear the ring, or any other ring until your rash heals. Even if the ring is cleared of the bacteria the rubbing of the rings will continue the rash.
Anyway, hope that helps.
renita says
Sarah — it did look like that but I’ve been keeping it under control with hydrocortisone. It was nearly gone a few times but then of course I went and wore my rings again… And I did clean it a few times at home, but not with boiling water.
My ring is white gold and diamonds, no other stones — so I will try the boiling water before I seek out a jeweler (since we don’t live either jeweler my rings are from). Thanks for the idea! 🙂
Jessica @ Faith Permeating Life says
I agree, it’s kind of weird to be involved, but since you’re going to be wearing it for the rest of your life, you want it to be good! I won’t go into the whole story of my ring, but we’d talked about having it made from two family rings, one of which I wore regularly, so I handed it over to him once we’d decided on that. Then he didn’t propose for A YEAR! Try waiting that long to tell people about it!! But the end result was great 🙂
Helena says
Ha, I would have exploded if I had to wait a year!
Jessica @ Faith Permeating Life says
I agree, it’s kind of weird to be involved, but since you’re going to be wearing it for the rest of your life, you want it to be good! I won’t go into the whole story of my ring, but we’d talked about having it made from two family rings, one of which I wore regularly, so I handed it over to him once we’d decided on that. Then he didn’t propose for A YEAR! Try waiting that long to tell people about it!! But the end result was great 🙂
Helena says
Ha, I would have exploded if I had to wait a year!
Beth says
Yep, your ring is pretty stellar.
Helena says
As is yours! Yay, Sarah!
Beth says
Yep, your ring is pretty stellar.
Helena says
As is yours! Yay, Sarah!
Erin says
Love the ring 🙂 Such a pretty, classic style.
I’m also a slight non-traditional girl, so my center stone is a pale pink sapphire. In different light it looks pink, purple, or peach colored…and then there are a couple diamonds on each side for sparkle 🙂
While I wasn’t directly involved in the process, once Kyle and I started talking about it, I made sure he knew I didn’t want a diamond, and didn’t want a wedding band unless it was teeny tiny. The rest he did on his own!
Helena says
Your ring sounds awesome! I had Sarah pull peachy sapphires – love them! My stone looks white (clear?) or yellow (from light to gold) depending on the light – it’s fun.
Erin says
Love the ring 🙂 Such a pretty, classic style.
I’m also a slight non-traditional girl, so my center stone is a pale pink sapphire. In different light it looks pink, purple, or peach colored…and then there are a couple diamonds on each side for sparkle 🙂
While I wasn’t directly involved in the process, once Kyle and I started talking about it, I made sure he knew I didn’t want a diamond, and didn’t want a wedding band unless it was teeny tiny. The rest he did on his own!
Helena says
Your ring sounds awesome! I had Sarah pull peachy sapphires – love them! My stone looks white (clear?) or yellow (from light to gold) depending on the light – it’s fun.
Belle says
That is a GORGEOUS ring! Very well done.
Congratulations x a million!
Helena says
Thank you!
Belle says
That is a GORGEOUS ring! Very well done.
Congratulations x a million!
Helena says
Thank you!
bethany says
beautiful! I love the vintage-y look to it, too. Mine is a simple 1/2 carat round-cut, and my wedding band is a half-eternity and I picked them out myself and told Matt what I wanted. Neither of us regret it!
bethany says
beautiful! I love the vintage-y look to it, too. Mine is a simple 1/2 carat round-cut, and my wedding band is a half-eternity and I picked them out myself and told Matt what I wanted. Neither of us regret it!
Melanie says
Helena, your ring is gorgeous! I love it, and I love non-traditional rings in general.
Here’s a photo of mine. 🙂
http://www.flickr.com/photos/33227061@N08/3517022396/
Helena says
Ooh, I love the shape of yours (how the ring is not quite round)! Also, great picture! I had a terrible time trying to get a picture of mine…
Melanie says
Helena, your ring is gorgeous! I love it, and I love non-traditional rings in general.
Here’s a photo of mine. 🙂
http://www.flickr.com/photos/33227061@N08/3517022396/
Helena says
Ooh, I love the shape of yours (how the ring is not quite round)! Also, great picture! I had a terrible time trying to get a picture of mine…
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