I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid of people thinking I’m a failure.
I know I shouldn’t worry what other people think. But I do. I think most of us do.
Whenever things in my life veer slightly off course, this fear intensifies.
But what would failure be? If I were to actually fail, what would that look like? I should define it to remove some of its power.
Failure would be losing the people (and cats) I love.
Failure would be Will leaving, my relationship with my sister becoming distant, my parents removing themselves from my life, and my cats… not purring when I pet them? (cat rebellion is a little more difficult to define)
So, when I analyze what I’m doing with my life, I have to remember what failure really is.
If I do this, would Will walk away? Would the cats beg to go back to the shelter?
No.
Failure, as I define it, is actually quite difficult to attain.
So I will choose to be brave.
{Image: The precious little SuperGirl above is not me – though I wish she was! She’s from wonderjunkie‘s flickr stream, modified by me under the creative commons license. The fun arrows are from the ever-talented Jess.}
renita says
brave and wonderful.
I ask myself (and Matthew sometimes) … what is the literal actual worst that could happen if x goes wrong?
Usually, it’s not that bad. Sometimes, an annoyance or hassle. But nothing that would cause me to lose life, limb or loved one. A good perspective to have.
renita says
brave and wonderful.
I ask myself (and Matthew sometimes) … what is the literal actual worst that could happen if x goes wrong?
Usually, it’s not that bad. Sometimes, an annoyance or hassle. But nothing that would cause me to lose life, limb or loved one. A good perspective to have.
Adriana says
That’s such an interesting way to think about failure. It really does take away its power, doesn’t it? I also have the tendency to catastrophize as soon as things get stressful, so I think I’m going to try this exercise myself.
Adriana says
That’s such an interesting way to think about failure. It really does take away its power, doesn’t it? I also have the tendency to catastrophize as soon as things get stressful, so I think I’m going to try this exercise myself.
bethany says
Love this. So honest and liberating. 🙂
Helena says
Thanks, Bethany!
bethany says
Love this. So honest and liberating. 🙂
Helena says
Thanks, Bethany!
Modern Housewife says
Hi Helena!
I’m new to your blog. Have you ever read The Happiness Project? The author talks a lot about failure and “enjoying the fun of failure”. I constantly have to remind myself to do that. Even when I’m doing something that should be fun, like baking…I get so nervous that it won’t turn out perfectly.
xo!
Helena says
I haven’t! I have that book on my shelf and even HEARD Gretchen speak at a conference, but I still haven’t started it. It’s one of those ones I want to be able to focus on and things are crazy right now… but perhaps I shouldn’t put limits on it like that.
Modern Housewife says
Hi Helena!
I’m new to your blog. Have you ever read The Happiness Project? The author talks a lot about failure and “enjoying the fun of failure”. I constantly have to remind myself to do that. Even when I’m doing something that should be fun, like baking…I get so nervous that it won’t turn out perfectly.
xo!
Helena says
I haven’t! I have that book on my shelf and even HEARD Gretchen speak at a conference, but I still haven’t started it. It’s one of those ones I want to be able to focus on and things are crazy right now… but perhaps I shouldn’t put limits on it like that.
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