Welcome to my weekly discussion of body image. While this discussion started as a way to highlight various articles and elements in society that I feel are pushing fat-phobia and unhealthy self-image, from time to time I share my own inner demons when it comes loving my body.
Last week, I had an epiphany. Somewhere along the path to SKINNY, the wheels fell off the wagon.
The Warning Signs:
1. I’d told my trainer that I didn’t want to work out in front of the mirrors that line one wall of my gym. Seeing my reflection could bring me to tears. Hello, body image distortion, my name is Helena.
2. One night list week Will and I were running errands for the wedding. I suggested (in the interest of time and effort) that we order a pizza for dinner. Will looked at me funny. “Hello? Pizza? Yum Yum?” I reiterated. Will relented with the caveat that I not “feel bad about myself afterward.” Yep, I’d made Pizza the enemy. Pizza is not the enemy! Sure, it’s not an “everyday food,” but some rainy evenings require pepperoni and pineapple pizza.
The Shift:
I’d previously heard women say things like “focus on what your body can do, not on what it looks like!” and it rang a bit false. Everytime a skinny-minnie told me they’d become healthier when they focused outside themselves I’d think, “Shove it, Cupcake! … mmmm, cupcakes…”
But my approach was no better.
The new approach is Radical Kindness. I will be unquestionably kind to myself. What does this mean?
1. No more problem areas. So, yeah, my stomach could be flatter. It’s no longer a “problem area” however. It is a “target area.” Semantics? Maybe, but words have power.
2. Lavish the praise on the pieces I love. My legs are super strong. I love my hair. I can hold a side plank for an amazing amount of time. Now, as I’m doing sholder presses (yes, in front of the mirror) I’m not looking at my midsection, I’m thinking “Bam! Biceps!”
3. Modified goals. I’ve run the Shamrock Shuffle every year since I moved to this city. I’d like to keep doing it yearly. To meet this goal, I have to stay strong and healthy and keep working on my endurance. Time doesn’t matter as long as I finish.
Join me! What’s your favorite thing about your body?