Welcome to my weekly discussion of body image. While this discussion started as a way to highlight various articles and elements in society that I feel are pushing fat-phobia and unhealthy self-image, from time to time I share my own inner demons when it comes loving my body.
Last week, I had an epiphany. Somewhere along the path to SKINNY, the wheels fell off the wagon.
The Warning Signs:
1. I’d told my trainer that I didn’t want to work out in front of the mirrors that line one wall of my gym. Seeing my reflection could bring me to tears. Hello, body image distortion, my name is Helena.
2. One night list week Will and I were running errands for the wedding. I suggested (in the interest of time and effort) that we order a pizza for dinner. Will looked at me funny. “Hello? Pizza? Yum Yum?” I reiterated. Will relented with the caveat that I not “feel bad about myself afterward.” Yep, I’d made Pizza the enemy. Pizza is not the enemy! Sure, it’s not an “everyday food,” but some rainy evenings require pepperoni and pineapple pizza.
The Shift:
I’d previously heard women say things like “focus on what your body can do, not on what it looks like!” and it rang a bit false. Everytime a skinny-minnie told me they’d become healthier when they focused outside themselves I’d think, “Shove it, Cupcake! … mmmm, cupcakes…”
But my approach was no better.
The new approach is Radical Kindness. I will be unquestionably kind to myself. What does this mean?
1. No more problem areas. So, yeah, my stomach could be flatter. It’s no longer a “problem area” however. It is a “target area.” Semantics? Maybe, but words have power.
2. Lavish the praise on the pieces I love. My legs are super strong. I love my hair. I can hold a side plank for an amazing amount of time. Now, as I’m doing sholder presses (yes, in front of the mirror) I’m not looking at my midsection, I’m thinking “Bam! Biceps!”
3. Modified goals. I’ve run the Shamrock Shuffle every year since I moved to this city. I’d like to keep doing it yearly. To meet this goal, I have to stay strong and healthy and keep working on my endurance. Time doesn’t matter as long as I finish.
Join me! What’s your favorite thing about your body?
renita says
It does sound a little silly (focus on what your body can do), but I would much rather be able to hold my own in a tough spin class and/or hold a plank for 30 seconds or longer (right now I’m at about 5…) then be a size 8 again. And the extension is that if I can do those things, it means my body is probably stronger and leaner.
I like my hair. I love my eyes (myopic though they may be). I have strong legs and capable hands.
Oh, and PS I see no problem with having pizza now and then … I just try to pair mine with a big serving of veggies so it’s not all I’m eating 🙂
Helena says
Ha, my eyes are quite myopic as well!
renita says
It does sound a little silly (focus on what your body can do), but I would much rather be able to hold my own in a tough spin class and/or hold a plank for 30 seconds or longer (right now I’m at about 5…) then be a size 8 again. And the extension is that if I can do those things, it means my body is probably stronger and leaner.
I like my hair. I love my eyes (myopic though they may be). I have strong legs and capable hands.
Oh, and PS I see no problem with having pizza now and then … I just try to pair mine with a big serving of veggies so it’s not all I’m eating 🙂
Helena says
Ha, my eyes are quite myopic as well!
houseofearnest says
Since I’m new to your blog, this is my first experience with fat tuesday, but I can totally relate and look forward to your insights!
Helena says
Thank you!
houseofearnest says
Since I’m new to your blog, this is my first experience with fat tuesday, but I can totally relate and look forward to your insights!
Helena says
Thank you!
Erin says
Oh man, this is pretty timely for me.
I’ve never owned a scale, because I know I have it in me to become obsessed with the number. I’ve finally let go of the idea of pants size as a determiner of attractiveness (this revelation came after I realized that I have three different pants sizes in my closet, and they all fit fine). Also, what’s the end game? This is definitely a dangerous road to start down.
But since I started working out and working with my trainer, she’s all about the numbers…weight, body fat, circumference of various parts, you name it, it’s on her chart.
So I just told her that those numbers were a problem for me, and that I’d rather see my goals measured in endurance, strength, and flexibility. So those are the numbers we’re working with now.
I know she’s still tracking everything else, but at least my own goals are tied to something that I feel is a little more mentally productive for me.
Helena says
I’m with you on the metrics trainers use. Sometimes, I have to remind myself he’s on my side because I feel like he’s underwhelmed with my progress.
Erin says
Oh man, this is pretty timely for me.
I’ve never owned a scale, because I know I have it in me to become obsessed with the number. I’ve finally let go of the idea of pants size as a determiner of attractiveness (this revelation came after I realized that I have three different pants sizes in my closet, and they all fit fine). Also, what’s the end game? This is definitely a dangerous road to start down.
But since I started working out and working with my trainer, she’s all about the numbers…weight, body fat, circumference of various parts, you name it, it’s on her chart.
So I just told her that those numbers were a problem for me, and that I’d rather see my goals measured in endurance, strength, and flexibility. So those are the numbers we’re working with now.
I know she’s still tracking everything else, but at least my own goals are tied to something that I feel is a little more mentally productive for me.
Sara {House Bella} says
I love that my body can propel me up mountains and down mountain on foot, ski, and mountain bike. Sure, I’m not as fast as the uber athletes (which includes my husband). And sometimes that makes me angry at myself. But I get there, and I love being there. So my body gets a thumbs up for that.
Helena says
Great “loves”! There’s something magical about being outside… I get a little sappy each Winter at how beautiful the montains are when I’m skiing.
Debbie says
I love this post! I was just thinking about this when I was looking in the mirror this morning. I was being critical of certain body parts and then I thought, I need to focus on the positive. I’m so happy you shared! As for me, I love my legs. They’re strong enough to walk me everywhere I need to go…and I do a lot of walking in the city. On beautiful days like today I enjoy walking blocks and blocks rather than taking a subway or taxi. It makes me happy to know my body can do that.
Helena says
Awesome! I’m a walker, too. It’s nice to know that I have the endurance to do that.
Helena says
Awesome! I’m a walker, too. It’s nice to know that I have the endurance to do that.
Theresa says
I tend to forget how well my body functions all of the time, focusing on how I have allergies, or how I’m not flexible, how I have a fast heart rate. When I bicycle I used to beat myself up for being out of shape; now I try to be a cheerleader and tell myself I’m doing a good job. And after, I love the feeling in my legs. The other great thing about my legs is they’re always muscular, even without my doing any exercise!
Theresa says
I tend to forget how well my body functions all of the time, focusing on how I have allergies, or how I’m not flexible, how I have a fast heart rate. When I bicycle I used to beat myself up for being out of shape; now I try to be a cheerleader and tell myself I’m doing a good job. And after, I love the feeling in my legs. The other great thing about my legs is they’re always muscular, even without my doing any exercise!
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