All last week (whilst I was diligently at work INSIDE), the weather was like this:
(Yes, the weather was like my kitty sniffing some tulips.)
Spring had sprung. The temperature was in the high seventies, the sun was shining, and people were everywhere. After Winters like ours, people scramble towards the sunlight as soon as possible.
Last week was fantastic. Last weekend was tragic.
By Friday afternoon, the temperature plummeted and the rains rolled in. I finally had time to be outside, but now had no desire to do so. On Saturday, my plans to go to local garage sales were washed away. By Sunday, the rain was beating at the windows as though trying to force its way indoors. I pulled my hoodie back out of (perhaps optimistically early) storage and snuggled up on the couch with a book.
Sounds like the perfect recipe for Lazy Sunday, no?
Well, no. Not for me. I’m bad at Lazy Sunday. Perhaps I’m bad at weekends in general. I just can’t seem to let myself to relax without feeling guilty. Didn’t the movie Se7en teach us that Sloth is a Deadly Sin? Catholic guilt doesn’t mix well with a tireless Protestant work ethic.
On Saturday, I was able to find enough projects around the house to keep me feeling purposeful. I did laundry. I hung up a hook in our closet. I fixed the shelving in the linen closet (shelving that was initially installed by someone lacking a level, a tape measure, and common sense).
Sunday, however, went by more slowly, and my lack of “productivity” began to drive me insane.
Why can’t I just relax? I love curling up on the couch with a good book and a warm blanket, steaming mug of tea nearby. Yet, when I get the chance to do so, I have trouble allowing myself the treat. It seems there’s always something I should be doing instead – cleaning the condo, running errands, going to the gym. The list seems endless and I’m unable to unwind. I know that even if I was returning from the gym to a spotless home, I’d still find things that needed to be done. The guilt comes from somewhere within.
My guilt complex is something on which I’ll always be working. Meanwhile, does anyone else have trouble letting themselves relax? What do you do to combat your need for constant productivity?